


"You're hurt. Please just let me heal it."

by Malec_Lover23



Series: Malec Writing Prompts [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Feels Guilty, Alec Lightwood Has Anxiety, Alec Lightwood Has Feelings, Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood Needs A Hug, Comforting Magnus Bane, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Older Sibling Alec Lightwood, Good Sibling Alec Lightwood, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane Takes Care of Alec Lightwood, Married Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Self-Harm, Self-Harming Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:01:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27890419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malec_Lover23/pseuds/Malec_Lover23
Summary: Requested by “e”“You’re hurt. Please just let me heal it.”Hope you enjoy and thank you for sending something in :)*warning for self harm*The link is down below again! Please please send something in and make me write for ya
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Malec Writing Prompts [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2038862
Comments: 8
Kudos: 126





	"You're hurt. Please just let me heal it."

It's not unusual to find Alec on the balcony when Magnus isn't home. Sometimes he'll curl up with a book if the weather is nice, or just stand by the wall with a cup of coffee, looking out over the city. On one memorable occasion, Magnus actually found him suntanning on a lawn chair, which of course led to the end of their evening locked in the bedroom. 

However, Magnus knows Alec well enough to know the signs of a truly hard day. A day that leaves him numb and regressed, a day that leaves him pulling away from Magnus instead of searching for comfort.

Today has clearly been a difficult one for his husband, because when Magnus portals into the loft, Alec doesn't even turn to greet him.

His back is turned to him, but Magnus can tell he's injured both physically and emotionally.

Treading lightly and refraining from comfort, at least until they can talk it out, is the best way to approach him, so Magnus does just that.

"Hey, darling. What's got you out here when it's so cold outside?" Magnus flicks on the light to the balcony, taking note of the rapidly setting sun and pushing down the urge to magic at least another layer of clothing on Alec's bare arms.

"I'm fine." Alec replies tersely, but Magnus can tell he's falling apart internally.

Magnus hums contemplatively, moving further out onto the balcony and slowly sliding beside Alec.

He summons a cup of steaming tea into his hand, and wordlessly hands it to Alec. "Come on. The warmth will do you some good."

Alec reluctantly takes the cup of tea, wrapping his bloody hands around it.

Magnus clenches his hands into fists to prevent from instinctively healing Alec's. Magnus' magic longs to protect Alec similar to the way it longs to protect Magnus. More often than not, Magnus' magic will wrap around Alec regardless of what they're doing, whether it's eating dinner or fighting alongside each other.

Magnus turns to face his husband, his face morphing into one of tender concern when he sees tear tracks running down Alec's face.

"My love, how can I help? You know I'll do anything to help you get through this."

Alec shakes his head, mumbling, "I don't deserve your help. You're too good to me."

"Now you know that's not true. You give your heart to others everyday, even to those who don't deserve it. Why aren't you worthy of the same?"

Alec bites his lower lip, twisting his hands together in a way that causes more blood to pool to the surface of his angry skin.

Magnus can't help but say, "You're hurt. Please just let me heal it." When Magnus reaches out for his hands, the Shadowhunter backs up and shakes his head, his lower lip trembling. He's fighting between accepting the comfort and raising walls, and Magnus has never wanted to persuade Alec to take the former option more.

Magnus internally winces as he sees Alec jamming his thumb into the wounds, the habit he resorts to when he's nervous and uneasy.

"Magnus, I was supposed to take care of Jace. And I failed him. I want to hurt. I should hurt. Like Jace hurts now because of me."

Magnus' heart shatters as he realizes these wounds aren't because of what happened during the mission, it's because of what happened after the mission.

"Can I-can I just hold them? I won't heal anything, I promise." Magnus promises, and Alec glances between Magnus and his outstretched hands.

"Trust me, darling. I won't heal them unless you want me to. You know I'll do it in a heartbeat, but I can't stop you from doing what you need to do." Magnus soothes, wiggling his fingers slightly in Alec's direction.

"I'm a horrible brother. Horrible Parabatai." Alec murmurs, allowing Magnus to gently take his hands.

"Is that just something you think of yourself? Because I'm pretty sure it is. Only you who that way. No one else would spare that thought a second glance." Magnus replies, stroking his thumb along Alec's knuckles delicately.

"They should. I let Jace just get hurt today during the mission. I left Izzy unprotected in the field. I deserve to be called horrible."

"Again, only you feel that way. If I called either one of your siblings right now I'm sure the last thing they would say is that you were horrible. Did you deliberately leave them in the field unprotected?" Alec shakes his head, sniffling and wiping away a stray tear angrily.

"Then there is no reason to call yourself horrible. I'm one thousand percent sure you did everything with the intention to save them and protect them. Will you tell me what happened?"

"We were split up into two different teams. Izzy and I were leading one and Luke and Jace the other. We went down into the sewers, and they stayed above ground. We were doing fine up until...." Alec trails off and tears up.

"Hey, it's okay." Magnus comforts. "I'm right here, everyone is fine."

Alec nods. "Until I felt Jace get hurt through our bond. I le-left Izzy by herself because I didn't know what was wrong with Jace. I was halfway there before I realized I left Isabelle in battle."

"Weren't there other Shadowhunters with Izzy, darling? Surely it wasn't just the two of you." Magnus tries to reason with him, and get him to see that in the grand scheme of things, it isn't Alec's fault that he went to go defend his brother.

"Yeah, there were. But I'm not supposed to leave her alone. We always said that on missions we would stay together. It’s my job as her big brother." Alec looks down at their joined hands.

"But you felt Jace get hurt. You did something any rational person would have done. And I know Izzy feels the same way. I'm sure she even insisted on you going to find him. And your job as big brother is to protect both Jace and Izzy. In that moment, Jace needed you more.”

They stand in silence, neither talking, just soaking up the sounds of Brooklyn below them  
  


Magnus sighs and raises one of his hands to cup Alec’s cheek.

Magnus steps closer and runs his thumb under Alec’s eye, saying, “And your job as big brother is to also rest and recover, so you can protect them again. If you bottle this up, let it harbor inside until you feel nothing but guilt, that’s doing the opposite of helping your siblings. They want you to be healthy, happy, safe, and carefree. You did everything right, Alexander, and that’s the reason why they are alive right now. Because you saved them countless times before, and I bet you did the same today.” 

Alec is keyed up again, he’s shaking, but in the most healthiest of ways. Because instead of closing down and backing away from outstretched comfort, this time, he barrels into Magnus and embraces him as blue sparks heal his aching hands and warm arms tighten around him.

Magnus will always be Alec’s refuge until he can put the pieces back together and rise to face the day again.

<https://magnuslightwood-bane0414.tumblr.com/post/636368894554243072/prompt-list-1>


End file.
